Friday, March 18, 2005

The Scarlet Asterisk.


Look, you used anabolic steroids. Now you use some cockamamie "I don't want to talk about the past" line in front of congress when asked. Mark McGwire -- you suck. Barry Bonds -- same for you. It's clear that you used steroids. Hell, your unwillingness to answer questions in a straightforward manner only points to your guilt (and that you possess the skills necessary to become the president of our country).

It makes sense these guys used steroids. They're paid millions of dollars and much more with ego filling entries in the record books if they do so. What doesn't make sense is their inability to, in a straightforward manner, proclaim their guilt. Are these athletes unwilling to admit what they've done because they'll have to wear a scarlet "*" for the rest of their lives?


Admit your guilt, take the "*" -- at least then I can still respect you. When you answer questions (especially those asked by congress) like our buddy Big Mac did, you deserve a second "*". See legend below:


Mark McGwire**
Barry Bonds**
Jason Giambi*

* = Yes, I used steroids. I made a mistake.

** = Yes, I used steroids. I am also a pathetic coward and cannot accept the consequences of my actions.

8 Comments:

Blogger mindful said...

Personal augmentation will become more and more of an issue though, no matter what the outcome of the steroids issue is. What happens when pitchers start having surgery to increase tension in their wrist tendons? Is that different? What if it's only used to repair injuries?

4:47 PM  
Blogger Vavoom said...

You're right, mindful. Growth hormones will only replace steroids and surgery will only replace them. Cheating is kind of like pornography -- you know it when you see it. Surgery will have to be taken on a case by case basis, I suppose.

5:23 PM  
Anonymous little john said...

Mindful I have never heard of that, but you're right on. Can this stuff be stopped? Should it be stopped?

8:46 PM  
Anonymous little john said...

Mindful I have never heard of that, but you're right on. Can this stuff be stopped? Should it be stopped?

8:46 PM  
Anonymous little john said...

Mindful I have never heard of that, but you're right on. Can this stuff be stopped?

8:46 PM  
Anonymous little john said...

Mindful I have never heard of that, but you're right on. Can this stuff be stopped?

8:46 PM  
Blogger Vavoom said...

LJ: Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes. It can be stopped through strict action and it must be stopped. The legitimacy of sports rests on such action.

9:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

We immortalize these
baseball players who have taken steroids WHILE playing
and getting credit for achieving physical feats WHILE
under the influence of an illegal
performance-enhancing substance. And yet.. Pete Rose
can't get into the Hall of Fame because he bet on
sports other than baseball. I don't know much about
baseball or the inner workings of the Hall of Fame.
But it just doesn't seem to make sense.

12:15 PM  

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