Monday, April 11, 2005

The Tyranny Of The Scented.

I woke up today having that not so fresh morning smell. I realized that I had to rush down to mail a package via FedEx. I quickly ran down to the local FedEx station. The guy at the place looked at me like I was a pariah. Fine, I stink like shit. Get over it.

I came home and showered. One problem while in the tub -- the only soap that was left was my wife's flowery perfume smelling soap. Fine. I'm running late. Whatever works. Besides, nobody cares about that kind of stuff.

On the way to work, lo and behold, my car's coolant leak started acting up again. This causes a foggy, rotten fish smell to enter the passenger compartment. Damn, I'm gonna smell like ass. Fine. Let's just make the meeting on time.

While parking, I saw two homeless guys duking it out. As I parked my car in front of the lab, I decided I'd try and break it up. "C'mon guys, it's not worth getting arrested over," I claimed. "They're cops going up and down the street here. It's not worth it." Guess what, both of them smelled like shit. Inevitably, some of their stink rubbed off on me. Fine. I got over it.

When I got into my advisor's office, she and other group members started sniffing around. "What the hell is that chemical perfume-like smell?" "It's me," I responded, "I used my wife's perfume soap this morning, my clothing is perfused with burned coolant from my car and I tangled with two homeless guys on my way over here." Suddenly, they were all looking at me like the guy from the FedEx office did. "Ahem, let's just prop the door open and start the meeting," my advisor said. During the meeting they all kept glancing over at me, giving me that "what the F is wrong with you" look.

I stink like shit. Get over it.


Blogger mindful said...

Sounds like you had a fun time today Vavoom. I'm sure you only stunk up her office literally, not figuratively.

7:33 PM  
Blogger thc said...

I agree with mindful. And tomorrow will be a better day.

9:30 PM  
Blogger Jenn said...

I'll buy you a shot. But wash your ass first.

10:26 PM  
Blogger | rc | said...

Just like Paul said tomorrow will be a better day :)...just shower twice just to be sure ;)

10:48 PM  
Blogger boko said...

Why can't my days be as exciting as this. Tangling with the homeless can be such fun...

2:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Maybe you could carry an additional cologne with you to add an additional very strong but somewaht less offensive oder. Maybe gold chains and an open shirt to show off that manly chest I know you have.

4:22 PM  
Blogger An80sNut said...

This could have been a Seinfeld episode. Do you think someone was filming the two bums fighting for a DVD (a.k.a. Bumfights) and you coming between them may have made you look like a ref? Let us know if someone mails you a release form.

4:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's FUNNY! : )

5:13 PM  
Blogger Tex said...

Thats one of the best true incedents I've read in a while, especially straight from the horses mouth. I had a 1980 Chevy truck in high school and I didn't realize it but I usually smelled like it. Like burning oil. I was still able to win over a girl though. Great story, once of those your friends will ask you to tell over and over.

9:05 PM  
Blogger dahvid said...

smelling like shit is not as bad as feeling like shit...but i suppose smelling like shit entails, feeling like one. :P

10:45 PM  
Blogger rocio.u said...

From bad to worse! What a day for you, Vavoom! Larry David, is that you?

1:30 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home