Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Why Can't I Sleep?


Anybody out there want to feel tortured? Change your name to Vavoom and come live my life. Since I was a kid I never slept well. For the life of me, I just can't sleep. I average around 3-4 hours a night. Note: That's 3-4 hours of piecemeal one hour here another hour there kind of crap. It's just how I live. Here's what I've tried to do to fix the problem:

1) Don't worry so much. Check.
Outcome: Meditation doesn't help.
2) Take sleeping pills. Check.
Outcome: Tolerance builds up quickly.
3) Exercise. Check.
Outcome: I'm tired but can't sleep.
4) Blog. Check.
Outcome: I write crappy posts like this but still can't sleep.
5) Read. Check.
Outcome: I become heavily engaged in the novel... can't sleep.
6) Stop hatin'. Check.
Outcome: I've even forgiven my former grad school advisor... still no sleep.
7) Watch TV. Check.
Outcome: I've seen every informercial known to man. (e.g. I've seen Ponch from "Chips" sell real estate in Washington State over and over again.) I have nightmares about Ron Popeil...
8) Try doing work. Check.
Outcome: I'm no good at my work so I end up worrying too much. See #1.
9) See a doctor. Check.
Outcome: They prescribe sleeping pills. See #2.
10) Take laxatives. Check.
Outcome: Realize that bowel movements have no relevance to sleeping disorders.

Any suggestions?

14 Comments:

Blogger NaNa said...

hahaha! this post had me in stitches! now i know why u commented in my entry! i din knw we share e same problem! maybe we can start exchanging tips ... lol!

9:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Late night self pleasure.

10:45 AM  
Blogger Vavoom said...

anonymous: Outcome -- Gratified, but still can't sleep...

1:34 PM  
Blogger secondsb4wake said...

My boyfriend has the same problem, yet not as bad. I can't imagine not getting enough sleep--it must be so difficult.

Do you exercise? I find running and lifting weights every day helps me to sleep soundly. If you do work out, make sure you do it before 7, because later will make your body too stimulated for sleep.

Also, you said you saw a doctor, maybe see an alternative doctor who can study your diet, prescribe you particular foods or herbs to help balance your system.

Kava kava is an herb I use a lot in teas to relax.

1:57 PM  
Blogger secondsb4wake said...

Oh I see you have tried exercise. What time of day do you do it? I still recommend you see a holistic doctor.

2:00 PM  
Blogger Vavoom said...

secondsb4wake: I've tried the herbal route... no results. I haven't tried kava kava. I hear that it has some bad side effects, though. I used to run with my coworkers every morning at 7am. Still no sleep...

2:39 PM  
Blogger Maseman said...

dude i can't ever fall asleep at night either (although in honors world history i have perfected the art of sleeping and pretending to listen to lectures at the same time.)

on a good night i get 5 hours of of and on sleep. last night i got 4. its crazy man.

I tried reading- no help

I tried sleeping pills- no help

and ofcourse I tried the "late night self pleasuring", purely for medical reasons i swear, but im in the same boat as you.

I NEVER SLEEP

4:22 PM  
Anonymous little john said...

Quaaludes could've helped. But they have been outlawed. Try Seconal.

8:45 PM  
Anonymous Merry Stitcher said...

Vavoom -
I'm sorry for your malady, but I would like to take this opportunity to thank you for introducing me to the world of infomercials. Until I met you, I had no idea Ponch had found work, or that there was property available in the Pines across the West Coast. (True, my life could be fulfilled without these things. But, hey, it's nice to know.)

Have you tried hypnosis?

Get some rest,
Mary

9:55 PM  
Blogger Danilo da Silva said...

hmmm... hae you tried Tequila? Drink enough and it will knock you out. Although there is a danger of you throwing up all over the place, but you will sleep.

Jus kiddin, I feel you pain though, been through this a couple of yrs ago for a semester. Try not to worry about it, listen to music, have at least a fun and exciting activity per day, it will tend to relieve stress.

10:16 PM  
Blogger dahvid said...

whoa...that's a dangerous sleeping-lifestyle O.o

try meeting a psychotherapist. that might help

10:34 PM  
Blogger Vavoom said...

Thanks for all the kind comments. Yup, I've tried the hypnosis/therapy/attidunal approaches. I'll try harder and report back!

4:39 AM  
Blogger Jen said...

How about trying the Fight Club approach: support groups and crying. You'll sleep like a baby.

11:59 AM  
Blogger Merry Stitcher said...

Just sharing another thought. How about a craft? Quilting and knitting can really wear you out! :-)

Also, I started my latest book club book the other night: Tortilla Curtain. I fell asleep after two paragraphs!! You might want to give it a try.

Sweet dreams,
MW

12:02 AM  

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