Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Mail Ordered Toys.

I originally was going to write about bad toys from around the globe. Guess what? When I did a Google search for "bad Russian toys." An interesting site came up. It advertised mail order brides. You've got to check out their site. It begins with the following:

1. It is true that you can find a younger, beautiful wife in Russia. Those beautiful women whose photos you have seen on the Internet, do exist and really seek men for marriage in the west.

2. You can contact them, and if you say and do the right things, you can marry one of them.

I couldn't believe the insipid tone set by this site. It later suggests that these women are "looking for love." However, rather than be yourself, you should "say and do the right things." I searched a couple other mail order bride sites and found the attitude taken by these organizations to be appalling. They often argue that marrying an American is the only way these poor women can escape rampant anti-feminism in their home country. Do they really receive better treatment in America?

I wonder if these women have been told about Anastasia King, a mail order bride from Kyrgyztan. Anastasia didn’t survive her experience. Her husband killed her. This American "Prince Charming" previously divorced his other foreign wife and was looking for another mail order bride shortly after he killed Anastasia.

From the Yale Law Journal we learn about other harrowing tales of mail order bride abuse:

"The story of a twenty-four-year-old woman named Raco offers another example. Raco married a U.S. citizen who had courted her by mail for ten years. Soon after she came to this country, he began to beat her because of differences she had with his parents. His assaults worsened because she did not want to bear children immediately. When she became pregnant, "[h]e threatened not to sponsor me for permanent residence if I didn't carry the pregnancy to term," she said. But the violence escalated, even after she decided to have the baby. When she was, six-months pregnant, he beat her so fiercely that she feared for the life of her unborn child and fled to a shelter."

Perhaps there are some that genuinely would like to marry an overseas woman and would shower her with love and affection. Really, who are we kidding? Many men seeking to marry a mail order bride place cultural and sexual expectations on these women. It’s as if they seek to find a female companion that they can exert their influence and authority over, treating them as if they were toys. One website argued the following:

“The Russian woman has not been exposed to the world of rampant feminism that asserts its rights in America. She is the weaker gender and knows it.”

Are you one of these men? Would you like to find a foreign wife that you can mistreat and dominate? If so, congratulations -- you are a loser.

14 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Argh. It's always about mail order brides. I don't want one of those. I just want a mail order mistress. I want to place an order (blond, blue eyes, 135 lbs, 5'7", 24-36-24), and I want it put in a FedEx box, and I want it here tomorrow morning. Is that too much to ask? Is it????

10:15 PM  
Blogger dreadcow said...

LOL @ anonymous

I saw one of those sites a few years ago and found it to be sad, yet funny when looked at from the right angle.

I was born 1982 and despite the best efforts my parents, was raised in the sexual and violent culture we call America.

As a result of that upbringing (wow... that subject alone would make a good blog entry... the results of being born into American culture) I really don't give too much thought to those kind of things when I see them.

Mail order brides? Obviously brought on by some people who figured they could, and are, making a buck off the more desperate men in the US.

I never even thought, for one second, that these women could attempting to free themselves from their oppressive culture.

The thought never even occured to me.

11:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anon: What is the return policy on those mail order mistresses? Can you try one out and send it back? Or is it yours if you take it out of the box? Is there any warranty?

12:14 AM  
Blogger Raine said...

I recall a mail order bride here in Washington who was killed by her husband a few years ago. It's all really quite tragic.

12:30 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What's interesting is that at our tame little 350 person company there are THREE men who (we suspect) are married to these brides. They actually seem happy. I shall remain a little anonymous as I don't want to get busted for 'outing' them...

but you know who I am!
Helen

6:39 AM  
Blogger Jenn said...

Would you say that mail order brides kinda fits into the same category as those who have their grooms picked for them? I mean, it's the same but not really. Maybe I'm an idiot? I just think it all sucks. It's sad that a lady hates her country so much she's willing to marry like that. Then again, the country, as mentioned, remind them everyday that they are the weaker sex and must obey the stronger. I wonder what goes through the minds of the men who actually do this. Is it as you said, Vavoom? Because they've placed cultural and sexual expectations? Or is it some lonely, sad, guy with no confidence or self-esteem and feels this might be the only way he'll ever marry and have that significant other? I do think that in any case, it can end up very good or very bad.

8:28 AM  
Blogger FantasticAlice said...

Where are the mail order husbands.

I want to dominate and mistreat men!

9:52 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fantastic: Graduate school. That's the only place to find men desparate enough. You can't mail order them; you have to pick them up in person. However, it's quite easy.

12:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Have you seen what guys in graduate school look like. You do not want a piece of that. You can only imagine what Vavoom looks like. Remember he is not just a graduate student but also in the sciences. Might be ok except for the hats.

1:33 PM  
Blogger FantasticAlice said...

It would be nice to know what vavoom did look like.

Nothing at all wrong with a well educated man.

Especially in the sciences department... they need a little education in other things as well... wink wink

2:01 PM  
Blogger Rattie said...

Amen! I should have had you aa a guest lecturer in my gender class.

2:21 PM  
Anonymous PMO said...

okay, so I know someone who truly wanted a mail order bride. This guy would have, in fact, showered the girl with gifts and jewelry. The guy just asked for some female company, because he was a bit older and lonely. He went through the entire process and ended up getting ripped off--some 10g's.

of course, brides who get murdered get the raw end of the deal, but in this case....I guess not all of them are the innocent type.

3:47 PM  
Blogger The Complimenting Commenter said...

That is a horrible situation. Thanks for the great post and review of it. I hope you still find some actual toys.
Thanks for stopping by earlier.

4:02 PM  
Blogger An80sNut said...

I actually know someone that has been thinking about it and went through some of the process. He isn't the perfect picture of normalcy but is far from being a bad person and rather desirous of a committed relationship now that he's older. Yet, people get ripped off on both sides and you really don't know what you are getting when you are told to be other than you are to make things work.

7:32 AM  

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