Saturday, May 14, 2005

Spare the Rod?

I spent the day yesterday with my sister's lovely family. Her children are absolute angels. They are polite, they share and they are 1 and 3 years old. I almost thanked my sister for doing such a great job with my niece and nephew. Man, she and her husband are such good parents.

In any case, I started thinking about the myriad spoiled rotten kids I've run into over time. We all know that spanking has become a politically incorrect activity. What do y'all think? Is spanking a child really a bad idea?

19 Comments:

Blogger Jen said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

2:07 PM  
Blogger Jen said...

Although I was brought up in the 80's (and not the 40s or 50s like my parents) I did experience some spankings and strangely, as I look back, I appreciate that type of parenting. Just a good smack--nothing with a rod or a belt! My parents weren't trying to be my friends and keep me happy all the time. Discipline is definitely an important factor in parenting. Also, I'll never forget the mouthful of hand soap after swearing in front of my mom. Ugh! After all that, I think I turned out pretty well.

2:08 PM  
Blogger RT said...

Depends on how and why you do it. I think that sometimes children do need spanked, but never out of our frustration or anger. And, only if it is something that will even work with your child. There are plenty of ways to discipline a child and you should be in tune enough with your own child to get the proper results.

It's funny that you brought this subject up, I was just thinking yesterday about an incident that happened when I was about 13 or so. An adult in my life that I highly admired yelled at me with such hatred in his eyes that I still remember it vividly today. To me, that was more damaging than all the beatings my father administered before that put together.

Children are very perceptive, you have to be careful when dealing with them.

2:25 PM  
Blogger mindful said...

I agree with RT. Spankings can be effective if used judiciously (I was spanked several times as a youngster!), but there are many methods of discipline. Know your child, and you'll know the best way to get the message across.

3:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Spare the rod, spoil the child.

3:57 PM  
Blogger thc said...

Sure, we all learned in our psychology classes that positive reinforement is more effective than punishment, but sometimes the consequences of a child's undesired actions need to sting a little.

4:21 PM  
Blogger Mentally Challenged said...

jen: I also got soap mouthwashed once
as a child by my mother for something I
said

RT: I, as a child, used to be loudly
yelled at by my father and the manner in
which that occurred was "damaging".

mindful: I was never physically spanked
as a child by either my father or my
mother.

Anonymous: There are many people that
think that no less than God is giving us
through the Bible the correct perspective
on spanking:

Proverbs 13:24 "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes."

4:30 PM  
Blogger Teri said...

I do not really agree with spanking a child, but then again my son is spoiled rotten. What kind of message are you sending if you tell a child to stop hitting someone else, and then you turn around and hit them for it?
I think there are more effective ways to deal with misbehavior than physically hitting a child. I was spanked as a kid, and it didn't damage me, but I have not spanked my child, (except the time when he was little and his hand was reaching for the hot stove and I gently slapped it away).

4:59 PM  
Blogger Moose said...

I can count the number of times I was spanked on 1 hand. They were always deserved. Of course for us it was with the razor strop. However, the worst part was making sure I knew why it happened, and how much it hurt them to do so. All in all, I think I turned out alright.

5:43 PM  
Blogger Raine said...

I think it depends on the child. I was spanked/belted/knocked around a bit as a child, but I never needed it. Silence and a disapproving look would have sufficed.

8:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Two words:

Cattle prod.

10:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree with thc! Positive reinforcement as much as possible but if all else fails, sometimes a smack will put them into place- but this should be a rare happening.

11:17 PM  
Blogger An80sNut said...

I think we have a lot of parents out there that don't parent. They don't know who their children are, what they do at school, who their friends are and what kind of music they listen to. Firm discipline is one area where you are showing that you care and know what is going on with your child. I do know that my father spanking me as a child for grades never worked but my mother was able to just say things to me the right way to make me see what I was doing. The punishment should always fit the crime and I believe that the punishment should also be one that performs to your expectation as a parent. Don't you find it funny that when you were sent to your room on a weekend until your room was clean you would usually use all day to piddle around unless you threw it all in the closet or under the bed? Proper punishment there would probably be to go through his items with him (at the right age it'd be embarrassing.)

7:23 AM  
Blogger Jill said...

Every kid is different. And each situation is different. But for me, the trashing of toys seems to work wonders. Not only does it remove a few cheap toys that I step on in the middle of the night, it also makes her pick up her toys and hide them from me, and she listens better after the incident.

9:19 AM  
Blogger Vavoom said...

These are great comments. To extend things, when does discipline become child abuse? It it abusive to spank a child with a belt? What about a rod or a paddle?

10:36 AM  
Blogger FantasticAlice said...

Hmmm.. Tough call, and since I don't have any kids, I can not speak first hand. However, I had my fair shares of a good smack on the ass or the back of my head to get my attention. And to this date I appreciated them careing enough about me to pay attention.

OH, and Glad you had a good vacation Vavoom!

7:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for writing about our visit together. Your beautiful words have me grinning from ear to ear. We enjoyed seeing you just as much as you enjoyed visiting. I wish you lived closer, so we could do it all the time. You are a wonderful uncle and brother. I love you!

Sister Vavoom

10:46 PM  
Blogger Rattie said...

I got spanked by my mom and I turned out okay...although that has been debated. I think there is a difference between a spanking and abuse. But my dad's forms of punishment, taking privileges away and guilt, was much more effective.

6:25 PM  
Blogger Megan said...

My mom really only had to spank me a couple of times; and not really hard, either. I just learned really quickly that if she said she was going to do it, she was going to do it. Which made me stop whatever behavior was causing the threatening in the first place. I think this worked on me because I was completely unbothered by losing privileges such as the phone or the television...I could literally sit in the corner and entertain myself for hours.

8:32 AM  

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