Friday, July 01, 2005


Alright. I'm hitting that time when I've got to say goodbye to my friends here in the Bay Area. As a result of my work schedule, I have to spread the sad so longs out over the next month.

It's difficult. I lived in Berkeley for a long time and, as a consequence, have always taken advantage of the fact that my closest friends are within an hour away. In the past, I've typically been rather stoic about goodbyes. Coming from the position that people are apparitions that pass in and out of your life made leaving people behind rather easy.

This time, saying goodbye is not so simple. These are people that have supported me when I hit rock bottom. Like a scarecrow in a cornfield, they ward off the crows of life, keeping me safe from harm. Suddenly, I've realized that these are not merely apparitions that will pass through me. Rather, they have left an indelible mark that will stay with me forever.

The statement, "I'll miss you most of all, scarecrow" has taken on an entirely new meaning for me.

What's the saddest goodbye you've ever experienced?


Blogger Jennifer said...

Saying goodbye to my grandmother last year when she was in short term care. I lived out of town and I knew that that would be our last visit together before she passed away. I told her how much we loved her and I gave her a long hug.
She passed away early the next morning. I was so thankful that I got to say one last goodbye.

12:18 PM  
Anonymous PMO said...

Can I reserve a time on July 22/23/24, my only times in the Bay Area? I'd love to see you guys before you take off!
Since your schedule is so packed, I want to make sure I reserve somewhat in advance--let me know

2:22 PM  
Blogger Raine said...

Aww, this is a sad post, V. I like the scarecrow/W of O metaphor.

My saddest goodbye was actually saying goodbye to my grandmother when she passed away. Her love was always a safe place for me.

2:35 PM  
Blogger Vavoom said...

PMO: Give us a call. We'll be packing up around then, but we definitely want to see you before we leave. We'll arrange something...

3:05 PM  
Blogger Moose said...

Vavoom, it's tough to leave it all behind like that, but think of the new friends. Also, you will have a reason to make it to your old stomping ground.

Saddest goodbye: Indianapolis International Airport. I took her to the airport, and we sat there for 2 hours. She stood up when they called her seat to board, and started crying. We hugged, kissed, and said we would miss each other, but took hope in the fact that she would be coming back eventually. She was killed in LeMans by a drunk driver.

4:57 PM  
Blogger secondsb4wake said...

I was five when my parents split and my father came into my bedroom to talk to me. He told me that he was leaving and I said forever? He said No, he was just moving out...Of course, I couldn't quite make the distinction.

As far as saying goodbye to friends, I used to sing this in Girl Scouts:

Make New Friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other's gold.

I'm sure you'll make close friends where ever you go, but that's probably no consolation...It's difficult.

5:37 PM  
Blogger Merry Stitcher said...

Sniff, Sniff.

One of my saddest goodbyes was when neighbors (and good friends) on both sides of our first house as Mr & Mrs THC moved on the same day.

We said so long to one couple in the morning before they hit the road. Many tears were shed. Then we headed to the airport to deliver the other couple. Standing in the airport we shed so many tears I thought the janitorial staff was going to put a "slippery when wet" sign on the floor.

When THC and I came home from the airport to our empty neighborhood, we were crushed. A very special chapter of our early married life came to a close.

We've stayed in touch with those friends over the years. And, while it was sad to leave the midwest for the Bay Area five years ago, one of the great things about the move has been the chance to make new friends like Vavoom and Mrs. Vavoom!!!!

Cherish the friendships, and prepare for more!!! (And, prepare for overnight visitors, too!)

6:37 PM  
Blogger Danilo da Silva said...

ok... I've never lived in the same city for more then 5 yrs straight... So I've gone through many goodbyes.

I think the last time I moved was the saddest. Saying goodbye to some folks I had known for only 2 yrs, but I knew they would be friends forever.

Vavoom, it is indeed sad, but remember to keep in touch with them, get all emails, get webmessengers to use webcam.. Of course its not the same, but it helps a lot. Good luck on da move!!

7:59 PM  
Blogger Jamie Dawn said...

MIne was having to say a permanent goodbye (on this earth anyway) to my beloved Gramilo (grandmother.) It left a vaccuum to this day that will never be filled. Love like that can't be duplicated, and I miss her now even though it's been 14 years since she died of cancer.
I wish you the best! Sad goodbyes of any kind are difficult.

9:56 PM  
Blogger LoraLoo said...

My goodbye memory pales in comparison to all the sad stories I've read here.

I was a military child and we moved a lot, so I was always saying goodbye. We lived in Tucson for 6 years, which was a long time in my young life! I was finishing up the 6th grade and had to say goodbye to my friends and the first comfort zone I'd really experienced. I sulked for quite a long time - coming to Vegas and starting junior high school as the new kid was really tough. It was a new adventure, and I finally got the hang of it.

This is a fantastic journey you're about to embark on, and congratulations for having the guts to just do it!

11:01 PM  
Blogger Vavoom said...

All: These are very touching comments. My goodbye stories pale in comparison to some of the stories I've read here. My condolences to those of you that have lost loved ones and are still feeling the effects.

Although hackneyed, it really is true -- they may be gone, but they live on through you.

11:08 PM  
Blogger A Fashionista said...

Saying goodbye to my Grandmother
(She raised me) and then my Mom she also raised me. They were both beloved. They were both taken by surprise. I got to say goodbye to my Gran. But not to my mom while she was physically alive. I said goodbye anyway, cause you know how supposedly they're floating around by you right after being pronounced. I talked to my momma and said I love you, I know you can hear and see me and I'll miss you. It was horrible.

11:44 PM  
Blogger An80sNut said...

It was about a decade ago on July 4th. My then-wife decided she wasn't happy and decided to tell me this in front of a friend's house while Journey played on the stereo. Every song was depressing as hell and pissed me off. Anyhow, she moved away but came back sensing she made a mistake but would be back out of my life a little more than a year after. Haven't thought about this one in awhile.

12:00 AM  
Blogger FJ said...

My saddest goodbye was on the 12th of August 2003.
It was a Tuesday night and we had rung my Grandpa in hospital to wish him "good luck" for his surgery the next day.
I still remember this vividly, as although we were both well and happy on the phone, talking nonsense as my family is wont to do, I hung up and broke down in tears.
All was well, he got through the surgery ok and my folks, my Grandma and my Uncle went to see him on the Thursday (I couldn't go, he had told me on the phone not to have the day off work) and although he was on alot of medication he was ok.
The next morning, at 8am, we received a phone call from my Grandma, the hospital had called and said he had passed away.
I will never forget that day, the Tuesday night phone call, or the days between his death and his funeral.
It was hell.

12:51 AM  
Blogger Rat said...

Ive done nothing but say goodbye to people for the last 3 years of my life.You think one would get colder after each one but it only gets harder.

7:46 AM  
Blogger Fred said...

Mine would have been the death of my grandmother on my mother's side. Since I was the last of four, Mom went back to work to earn extra money while the other three were in school. My grandmother was the one who always watched me and we would have wonderful times together when I was growing up.

To this day, some of my fondest memories of my childhood are those that include "Grammy".

8:20 AM  
Blogger Camphor said...

I don't. Say goodbye, that is. Never 'Bye' either, usually I say "later" and leave it at that.

I've always been saying good-bye almost all my life. I shifted all over the country, every two years, almost, like clockwork, so ... I guess since birth I made sure I never got so close that saying goodbye would be very difficult. As for the other kind, there is no good-bye. There is only "later".

10:24 AM  
Blogger Rattie said...

First I want to say your're an excellent writer Vavoom.

I have to agree with camphor, I never say "goodbye" but prefer "later". You never really leave your true friends forever, they always leave some imprint on your heart and will always be there in your memories. Despite the many times I've moved, I always remain in touch with the many beloved friends I've met.

My only true goodbye was the day my ex-husband left. Although we both cried when we said our goodbyes, I never felt so sad to lose a bestfriend than that day.

11:13 AM  
Blogger Teri said...

The hardest goodbye was to my best friend right before she passed away. I went to visit her in LA on 9/10, I was planning on coming back 9/12, but 9/11 happened and the airports were closed, so I got in my car and drove back to Vegas, she died 9/12 at 2:00am. I would have liked to have spent the day with her, but because of everthing that happened on 9/11, I came right back home to Vegas.
Saying goodbye to someone you know, you will not see again I think is the most difficult goodbye to experience.

3:04 PM  

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