Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Gang Activity in Boston.

I've had the great opportunity to go to Filene's Basement. Filene's is a major department store here in Boston. The basement is filled with discount clothing that's absolutely amazing. We had made our selections and sauntered over to the fitting rooms.

Upon entering, I realized that this was a fitting room, not rooms. Yes, the clothing comes cheap, but you'll have to participate in a gang change if you want any hope of buying stuff that fits. About twenty sweaty men were disrobing to the tune of Meatloaf's "I would do anything for love" as played by some failed jazz pianist. "When at a tuxedo party, wear a tuxedo," I thought and started to disrobe.

While standing in my underwear, briefs not boxers, two men next to me started talking:

"I think your ass looks fine in it, honest, it really looks good."
"What about my hips, what do you think about the hips?"
"They look good, really, I mean it."
"I don't believe you, you say everything looks good."
"Hey you, what do you think, how does my ass look?"

I kept about my business, praying he wasn't talking to me. "Yeah you, with the Red Sox hat on -- help me out, how does my ass look in this?" "I, uh, it, uh, looks, uh, fine, I guess." "What do you mean, you guess? It either looks good or it doesn't."

There I was, with one leg in my soon to be purchased pants staring at this guy's ass. He was clearly sticking his ass out to accentuate it, but that wasn't helping the evaluation. "You look great, really, you look great." "See, I told you," his friend responded.

Here's where things got really unnecessary.

"Well, put your pants on and we'll let you know how they look," the man told me. "You know, I don't really need that feedback. I just buy whatever's comfortable." As I slid the other pant leg on, and buttoned up, I suddenly heard, "Oh, yeah, your ass looks really good in those. The length is a bit long, but the ass makes up for it. What do you think, Mike?" "Wow, things didn't look too promising when he just had on his underwear, but his ass is lookin' really good in those pants." "Try on that shirt. Let's see how they look together."

Clearly, these two men were having a field day. "Listen, I'd prefer to be left alone." "God, what a bitch," one of the duo responded, "try and help people and they just throw it in your face."

The pants actually do look pretty good. My ass does fill them out quite nicely. That's my opinion, of course. Next time I head to Filene's Basement remind me to bring a screen to disrobe behind.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's FUNNY! Wonder what happens in the women's changing room. Say, do I look fat in this outfit?

11:03 AM  
Blogger Lily said...

LOL! It was like your very own Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.
Macy's recently bought out Filene's, & is dumping the Filenes name but Filene's Basement is owned by someone else and will remain open.

11:45 AM  
Blogger Megan said...

The same thing happens in the women's changing room, but they actually appreciate the commentary on their rear ends! Mostly. That is truly the funniest thing I have heard all week.

12:22 PM  
Blogger RT said...

Vavoom, I don't know which I find funnier, the guys giving you unwanted opinion in the changing room, or that you stripped down to your briefs, but left your ball cap on...

2:09 PM  
Blogger Denise said...

Wow, you're brave. I could never be inside Filene's Basement too long, it's chaos to me. I tried the women's dressing room once. Only once.

2:23 PM  
Anonymous FNPhD said...

Jesus, Vavoom!!! Filene's dressing rooms? You were lucky they were only LOOKING at your ass. Great place to shop, but it's cheap enough that you can buy it and try it on at home.

2:55 PM  
Blogger Fred said...

I would have ran for my life. Fast. (Even with one leg in my trousers.)

3:21 PM  
Blogger Hulabelly said...

That's great! I have people trying to talk to me in dressing rooms too, but not in my underwear. Thank heavens! When I worked at k-mart, i did have a 70 yr old woman come out of the dressing room wearing nothing but underwear asking if I would get her a smaller size because that size was too big and she held it out to demonstrate the bigness and thus exposed her old lady "no-no parts" ew. I forgot my point, nevermind.

4:15 PM  
Blogger European said...

Did I mention that you look REALLY good in those pants you're wearing?!!

5:04 PM  
Blogger Rattie said...

Filene's Basement is still around! Now that brought back memories when I lived in Boston many many moons ago.

7:56 PM  
Blogger thc said...

After 12 years in the Bay Area didn't you get used to other men staring at your ass?

9:31 PM  
Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Sounds like you were still in San Fransisco.

9:34 PM  
Blogger An80sNut said...

I'm just wondering if they provided rubbers on your way in. And I don't mean the little rain boots.

11:48 PM  
Blogger Jenn said...

Hahah! Poor Vavoom. I picture you so reserved and polite and not having a clue in hell what you should tell them.

Too cute!

2:47 AM  
Blogger RT said...

I'm still waiting for the pictures...

5:05 AM  
Blogger Jenn said...

I thought about it, you should have just yelled West Siiiide and threw a W. That'd teach them.

6:54 AM  
Blogger Vavoom said...

RT -- Here's that photo of me that you wanted:

7:27 AM  
Blogger RT said...

LoL. I was almost afraid to look at that, but now I'm glad I did!

Thank You! :D

4:12 PM  

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