Friday, August 19, 2005

A Preview.

Overheard in the elevator at Fancypants University:

A1: Man, that janitor is such a f*cking idiot. God, how do service people live with themselves?

A2: C'mon, we need idiots like that to empty the garbage. Think about it... we're at Fancypants University. We're the intellectual elite in this country, the cream of the crop... we can't expect everyone to be like us.

A1: I guess you're right. I guess it's alright to have lesser downs around here, as long as they're pushing a broom.

V: Hey, I couldn't help but overhear. My name is Vavoom. I work for Prof. Bigshot.

A1: Hi, I'm asshole #1.

A2: I'm asshole #2.

V: Who do you guys work for?

A1: We work for Prof. Stuffy.

A2: Yeah, I'm giving a seminar on Monday. You're welcome to come. Just don't bring any idiot janitors with you.

A1: Hahahaha.

V: No, but I'll be there. Let me ask you this -- you think you're so good that you're better than the janitors, right? Since you're so good, I'll be at your talk. I'll be asking questions. We'll see how good you really are.

I'm going to spend the weekend in Cape Cod. On Monday, I'll be back to teach this boy a lesson he'll never forget.


Blogger FantasticAlice said...

I certainly want to see the lesson taught. Oh, and thanks for making my morning precious coffee almost come out my nose.

9:09 AM  
Blogger Megan said...

1. Those guys are assholes and I'd like to see what would happen if the janitor overheard this conversation and decided to give them a literal and figuritive finger...say he didn't empty their trash for a month. Would they do it themselves and learn to appreciate the janitor for doing something no one else wants to do?

2. Your blogs are starting to intrude on my sleep. The other night I had a dream about using the facilities in my office building. It was remarkably similar to your blog.

3:15 PM  
Blogger dusty said...

i just love assholes like that..i always manage a nice comeback for them..and they deserve each and every one of them..I have been a high paid employee and a low paid employee..i look down on no one or the job they do.

5:00 PM  
Blogger LoraLoo said...

Vavoom - I cannot wait to hear about the lesson you give. Humanity is sad sometimes. I'm glad there are people like you out there, Vavoom.

5:27 PM  
Blogger janthelabfly said...

first of all, i too, cannot wait
for Monday's report

and second of all... don't you wish there was some way that fate and or
charles dickens could write a future
for these two (A1 and A2) that would
include a grand fall from their
privileged present...?? vavoom, this story made me so sad.. and also reminded me of my favorite film ever.. "The Last Laugh" by Murnau..
( if you haven't seen it, i suggest now would be the time
thanks for your writing
i remain,
jan the labfly

5:47 PM  
Blogger An80sNut said...

I'd love to find out what he plans to talk about. I'd also consider having a few other people there that you could hand questions to that will fluster and embarrass him even more. My mind is alight with terrible thoughts... and I like it. B)

6:51 PM  
Blogger Raine said...

Obviously though 2 didn't participate in the Living Wage sit-in.

7:12 PM  
Blogger Meow said...

People like those are in every company on every country on the planet earth. If you read bloggers from Turkey, Singapore, Malaysia, UK, Australia and Spain it's the same ol' same ol' everywhere.
I can tell you the name of the lady who cleans out my trash bin. All the servers in the cafeteria and cashiers. I know the painters and the floor buffers, BECAUSE I BOTHER TO SAY HI. Is it like fucking illegal in some folks minds to say hi to someone you see every day no matter what their position is? Shame on anyone who doesn't know the name of the person who serves them lunch every day or serves them their coffee. Sometimes when you talk to these folks they feel so happy that some big shot knows their name and appreciates them.

7:31 PM  
Blogger thc said...

A little like Good Will Hunting, wouldn't you say?

9:35 PM  
Blogger FJ said...


Thankyou for speaking out for those seen as "lesser citizens" because of their choice of employment.

Janitors/cleaners and all workers in general deserve the same respect as those who think they are the elite of society and we should all remember that.

Vavoom, you seem like a man with a good dose of principles, humility and strong morals/ethics... good for you, the world could do with more people like yourself in it.

Teach these blokes a lesson, they need to be taught, and I'm sure you'll teach it well.

10:19 PM  
Blogger RT said...

LoL THC. That's what I was thinking too. That and Sabrina (you know, the part about the father becoming a chauffeur because it gave him more time to read.) People have different values, and to put someone else down because they don't hold the same values as you just isn't cool.

11:15 AM  
Blogger Fred said...

Cape Cod in the summer. How cool is that? Enjoy.

I'm looking forward to hearing how they answer your questions. Maybe you should don the janitor's uniform to really give them pause. That would be a hoot!

11:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Careful -- you might quickly find that either a) you are not the smartest person in the room, or b) someday you may need one of those people for something....

12:10 PM  
Blogger A Fashionista said...

Can't hardly wait for the seminar.
You really better keep us posted ASAP or ASAIH (It happens) I hate pishers like them.... AS YOU ALREADY KNOW:)

5:18 PM  
Blogger Vavoom said...

anonymous: Don't worry -- I've sized the guy up and spent the last year and a half working for his competitor. I know his project inside out. As far as people in the room go, I don't want to be the smartest guy there. I just want him to realize he's not the best thing since sliced bread. Also, I'm not one to be kind to people simply b/c I'll need them later. In all reality, anonymous, I know you and you know me -- I'm kind to people until they behave inappropriately.

9:27 PM  
Blogger Moose said...

It is all about upbringing. That's it.

11:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah, IPs can be damning.

It's easy to be kind until someone acts inapproriately; that's just avoiding being a mean-spirited person. Where the rubber hits the road, in my mind, is being kind AFTER they behave inappropriately. That seems to be the real display of dignity and restraint...

On the other hand, one does have to applaud a well-deserved ass-kicking from time to time...

2:27 AM  
Blogger Vavoom said...

anonymous: Hmmm... actually you're right. I should be kind to him despite his failings. In this case, the kind thing to do is to make sure he realizes that his attitude is crap. I think the cruel thing to do is let him continue along his current trajectory. I'll be doubly "kind" to him on Monday. Thanks for the input!

4:05 AM  
Blogger Jamie Dawn said...

Good! I hope you show him he's not as wonderful as he thinks. Make him look RRRRReally stupid!

6:42 PM  
Blogger Teri said...

Can't wait to hear how this turns out.. Kill him with kindness or teach him a lesson? Or both.. I am sure you have a way of working both into the solution.

8:49 AM  

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