Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Sex Kittens.

There are a couple of vendors that roam the halls here at Fancypants University once every month. Both look exactly like Barbie. They are aggressive in their game plan.

Every male scientist they run into, they flirt with to high hell.

There I was -- married little Vavoom, sitting at my desk, trying to figure out how to prove some God forsaken thing using Pascal's Triangle. Suddenly, I felt a hand on my shoulder.

SK1: Hi there. We're from XYZ incorporated. Do you have a minute?
V: Actually, I don't. I'm working on a problem set. Sorry.
SK2: Wow, I didn't know there were such good looking guys doing math in this building.
V: Right, right. I really should get back to work.
SK1: (putting her hand on mine) C'mon, you've got to have some time for the two of us.

Now, your average single male graduate student would probably go absolutely nuts with two canonically gorgeous women flirting with him. I, on the other hand, was getting annoyed.

V: We don't allow vendors to roam around here for a reason. You guys are a distraction. Touching me is a distraction. Flirting with me is a distraction. If I want to buy something, I'll buy it. If you have information, leave it and I'll look at it later.
SK1: Wow, this one is fiesty. I like that.
SK2: Me too. (rubs SK1's back)

It felt like they were going to make out with each other right then and there. Was I trapped in some geeky beer commercial? Was this the Howard Stern show featuring Pascal's Triangle and hot lesbian action?

V: Okay, that's it. You guys are banned. Leave now, don't come back. I see you guys pull this crap every month. Do you actually make sales doing this sort of thing?
SK1: Actually, we do.
SK2: We'll see you later, handsome. (they leave)

Upon talking to our administrative assitant, I found out that these two women are apparently the top sales producers for their product category on the east coast. Man, I guess sex really does sell.

10 Comments:

Blogger irishkeough said...

you are an idiot. I would hump them. Of course, I'm worthless as a scientist as a result. Keep fighting the good fight.

12:49 PM  
Blogger Megan said...

On the one hand I commend them for being willing to do what it takes to do a good job. On the other hand I find it to be demeaning to all parties involved.

And I am not sure if it bothers me more that women do this so blatantly or that it seems to work. I want to think more of both sexes than that.

2:09 PM  
Blogger Fred said...

Why is it that the overweight, fat slobs get the girls in those beer commericals?

I'd hump them, too. In my mind.

5:03 PM  
Blogger Lily said...

XYZ corp needs to send Barbie and Skipper to sexual harrassment training.

I can't believe they touched you. If a man did that to them they would probably charge them with sexual assualt.

5:41 PM  
Blogger Anandi said...

That's bizarre. I don't think of scientific reagents/equipment and sex as being particularly compatible. But then again, sex is used to sell pretty much everything else...

It's nice to know that not all men fall for this sort of stuff. And yes, the touching definitely crosses the line. At some point they'll target the wrong person and get called out for it.

7:17 PM  
Blogger The Disgruntled Chemist said...

Were they selling that Axe body spray stuff? On my undergrad campus those vendors (who look just like the ones you describe) would do anything short of actually hitting you with a bat in order to spray their product on you.

This sort of thing definitely does not happen to me with the rep from the company I got some of my instrumentation from. His name is Dick, and he's about 50 years old.

8:08 PM  
Blogger Meow said...

Maybe Vavoom was wearing the Axe body spray. LOL
We get these pains in the asses too at my job. They sell framed posters or knock off colognes.
I usually say, you don't have any Annick Goutal do you? And they're like er uh no.
Or, I have all oil paintings and a poster just would not fit in. LOL

9:00 PM  
Blogger An80sNut said...

I have to say that I'm impressed with their resolve after being turned down in several different ways. The touching each other is a bit much but then again, there is a rumor that guys like to see women touching each other. Great restraint there, V.

9:50 PM  
Blogger Ivan said...

<---Would hump.
I'm also 18, i don't know if that says anything. But alas. O and i hate pascals triangle. It is death.

10:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't know what they are selling, but I'm buying. Send them across the hall.

12:54 AM  

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